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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Divorce Settlements-Making The Most Of Your Divorce Separation

The process of organising a divorce settlement can be emotionally traumatic. While you can never plan for the breakdown of a relationship, there are a number of tips to consider which can make divorce as painless as possible.

Try to Compromise – You should always be prepared to compromise, even if you have had difficulty agreeing things with your ex during your marriage you should always try your best to agree during divorce and find a middle ground. While it may be even harder to reach agreements during the separation process than it was during the relationship, it is important to try as this will ensure that the divorce is as straightforward as it can be.

Don’t get too attached to individual items – it’s easy when dividing up shared property to get attached to specific items. Whether it’s the house, the car or even a family pet, it’s best not to get too distracted. The risks are twofold; firstly you will be very disappointed if you don’t receive that particular thing, secondly you can often lose sight of the bigger picture and end up dividing your possessions unfairly.

Talk to your ex-partner – While it’s always useful to have a legal professional involved in the process of a divorce settlement, that doesn’t mean you should conduct all communication with your spouse through your solicitors. A sticking point can often be quickly resolved face to face or over the phone without the intervention of a family law solicitor.

Sort it now, rather than later – often the hassle of organising the division of property for a divorce settlement can seem too much like hard work. This is not best attitude to have or approach to take. By solving these problems and disputes now it will close that chapter and leave you free to continue with the rest of your life.

Remain positive – initially you may feel disappointed with the outcome of your divorce settlement; however it’s in your interest to keep a positive mental attitude. While you may feel that the shared property was divided unfairly during your divorce it’s important to remember that you are now free of the relationship and that your state of mind and well-being are far more important than any material possessions.

It’s worth remembering that it is the small things which can make the emotionally difficult process of divorce that little bit easier.

Chris Norton writes for Armchair Advice. Armchair Advice is a UK website providing specialist job loss and relationship advice. Whether you require emotional support, financial advice, or information on divorce settlements, you can find it all at Armchair Advice.

For more information please visit Armchair Advice.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

Celebrity Divorce Lawyer Ensures Competent Handling Of Divorce Case

When the matrimonial vows of ‘for better or for worse’ are reduced to only the ‘worse’ bit, we find couples heading straight for the courts. A painful end like divorce can be devastating for any couple - being a celebrity and in the public eye makes it even worse. In such a crucial phase, celebrity divorce lawyer is a legal advisor that helps celebrities deal with their divorce in the most efficient manner. When a celebrity is undergoing a divorce, it not only involves dealing with a personal failure but also handling the probing eyes of media and the public. At such times the celebrity needs expert advice and help in logically working out the best settlement and that is where a celebrity divorce lawyer steps into the picture.

More or less 49% divorce rate in the United States speaks volumes about the fact why US is known to have the weakest family links. Celebrity divorce forms an integral part of this data hence giving rise to the popular concept of pre-nuptials. A celebrity divorce lawyer however, can ensure that the client gets a fair deal whether or not they had a pre-nuptial agreement. Even if a couple had stepped into the bonding of holy matrimony with pre-decided terms and conditions the impending divorce can blur the decision making capabilities. A professional who is well versed in the legalities of complex divorce proceedings would therefore be a god-send. The demand for a successful and credible celebrity divorce lawyer is therefore constantly on the rise.

A divorce can be a legally complicated issue considering the fact that some laws may differ from state to state. Keeping in mind each and every legal requirement and acting in the best interests of the celebrity client is the job of a thoroughly competent celebrity divorce lawyer. Many a times the decision favoring one partner over the other depends on the clever application of the law according to the state where the case is being fought. This is where selecting the right lawyer to fight the case achieves crucial importance.

Most of the reputed law firms in United States have a team of divorce lawyers on their payroll. Any celebrity can safely hire such a firm and expect competent legal services and the best deal possible. A celebrity divorce lawyer from a law firm of impeccable reputation will be well experienced in handling high profile cases with the utmost discretion and also be media savvy enough to deal with the publicity that is bound to be created by celebrity divorces. Hence even at the end of the day though the celebrity divorce lawyer charges a hefty fee in most cases, the overall benefit to the client far exceeds the amount of money paid for the legal proceedings. The trend of more than one marriage and divorce among celebrities speaks volumes about the efficiency and capability of a celebrity divorce lawyer.

The life of a celebrity is closely followed by the fans and each important event is also of utmost importance to the fans as well. In such circumstances, by adeptly handling the divorce proceedings, child custody, asset distribution etc., the celebrity divorce lawyer is also seen as an ally by the fans of the beloved celebrity. As the old saying goes, ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’ – and so in modern times with divorces and especially celebrity divorce on the rise, a good, efficient celebrity divorce lawyer is the best bet for an ideal settlement.

Damyel Flower is an exprienced divorce lawyer.He has successfully handled many divorce cases.He gives advice to clients who are looking for Art lawyer,Divorce lawyer NYC, celebrity divorce lawyer.To hire services of a lawyer in New York and any legal advice visit www.mtllp.com

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Monday, October 13, 2008

When Divorce Hurts Too Long - Stages of Divorce ( #3 in a series of 15)

There is the thought in the mental health community that anyone who feels they had no idea their ex-spouse or ex-girl/boy friend was unhappy, may not have been reading the signs. They may have been ignoring them hoping they would go away if no attention was paid to them. This is not typically the case. If a spouse or significant other is unhappy or dissatisfied in their marriage or relationship, they are more than likely exhibiting behaviors that reflect this dissatisfaction.

Some examples of these behaviors include:

being a workaholic and being disengaged from the family

main interest is being with the guys or gals and partying

living separate lives – different interests, different friends, different goals etc.

change in level of affection

change in level of interest shown in being with spouse

There are so many different kinds of behaviors that can indicate dissatisfaction with a relationship that a whole book could be written just to cover all of them. These examples just scratch the surface.

The Stages of Divorce identified below were developed based on the different feelings, sensations, thoughts, and fears that occur in the midst of the divorce process, when the divorce process is over, and when someone, who has slipped into Post Marital Stress (PMS) disorder, finally walks away from it. If you haven’t read either of the first two articles in this series, here is a brief description of PMS.

Everyone deals with grief and loss differently and at a different pace, most people move on after a divorce or ended relationship within 2-3 years. This is a bit hard to quantify precisely because humans are unique. The key element to look for over those two to three years is forward progress.

Some people who have gone through a break-up or divorce get stuck and do not make forward progress. This is evidenced by continuing to grieve the loss of a spouse and the family they had known and bemoaning their lot in life. Even more than just getting stuck, they veer off and go down a path of bitterness, anger, victimization, and martyrdom. When this occurs they have a full blown case of Post Marital Stress disorder.

The Stages of Divorce theory is based on change theory which purports that when something changes in a person’s life, there are a series of stages or steps that accompany that change. These stages can range from hardly noticeable to excruciatingly painful…depending on the change.

A well known example of this type of change theory is the developmental milestones children go through from birth to about the age of 5-6. There are hundreds of different developmental milestone charts that map out what children should be doing developmentally at different ages.

So, taking this concept of developmental milestones to the next level, there are divorce or relationship break-up developmental milestones for recovery too and they are:

STAGE ONE is wondering if you want a divorce. This stage may have two possible endings.

The first possibility is when a spouse or partner begins thinking about whether they want to break-up or get a divorce. If the answer is YES then they moves into Stage Two.

The second possibility is that the spouse or partner, thinking about whether they want a to break-up or get a divorce, decides they DO want a divorce but decide NOT to move into Stage Two for various reasons. These reasons may be healthy viable reasons but more often than not they are unhealthy because they are made out of fear of retribution, fear of being alone, fear of being physically hurt etc.

STAGE TWO is asking for a divorce or being told by your spouse that she wants a divorce

STAGE THREE is going through the divorce proceedings

STAGE FOUR is becoming single. This is the stage where someone begins to become a healthy happy individual or starts to move down the path of PMS.

STAGE FIVE is learning how to be a happy well adjusted single person. If an individual gets stuck in Stage Four they will not move to this level until they receive intensive individual therapy of some sort.

The author is a survivor of Post Marital Stress (PMS) disorder. She has a Ph.D in Educational Psychology with years of experience in the fields of human development and mental health. This blend of personal experience and education and work experience make for a well rounded and solid look at relationships, divorce, marriage, and love.

 

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