This is Not Your Parent's Divorce - 7 Ways Divorce is Different Today

1. More people are getting divorced. 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. 60% of second marriages end up in divorce. This is nothing like divorce of even 20 years ago.

2.The cost of divorce is escalating. In southern California some divorce attorneys charge $650 an hour or more. We are beginning to see a two tiered system: the upper middle classes and above hire a divorce attorney. Everyone else goes in pro per (represents themselves) due to lack of funds. Legal services are priced like any other service in a free market economy. Whatever the market will bear is the price we pay. With so many needing a divorce, an attorney can choose the well off and ignore the rest.

3. Lawyers can be picky. Even within the selected group that can afford an attorney, attorneys are so busy they can pick and choose their clients. Too many red flags and they will not take your case. A red flag can be female, lack of sufficient assets to litigate for a long time. Why is a woman a red flag? Lawyers don't want stories, and women like to tell the history of the marriage. Women often don't control the funds and it is easier to obtain a retainer from a male. Women are often more emotional and this puts them at a disadvantage.

4. More custody battles. The tender years doctrine is, alas, gone. Little babies are being taken from moms and given more visiting time to dad and sometimes sole custody. If mothers want their children, they often have to fight for them in a long and protracted battle.

5. Divorce has become a 60 billion plus industry. This includes what has come to be known as the "whores of the court." These are the evaluators, guadian at litems, therapists, career counselors and forensic accountants. The more you fight about, the more they pop up like mushrooms. You have a right to question, and say no to these people. If your attorney tells you otherwise, find someone who will tell you the truth.

6. A marriage is an economic unit controlled by the state. Marriages have become more complex as our financial lives have become more complex. Breaking up is not simple. It has all the elements of a corporation and must be treated as such. Breach of fiduciary duty used to be a concept most often talked about in the corporate world. Now, it relates as much to ending the economic unit called marriage.

7. People in their 40's, 50"s and 60's make up most of the divorce population. It didn't used to be this way. This demographic has more money, houses, boats, toys in general. This leads to a lot of hidden assets. Men are generally better at hiding assets than women. When a woman tells her attorney, "I know there is more - he's hiding assets." she is probably right. But watch out...the biggest change in years in divorce has not impacted the attorneys. They do not do proper discovery, they are left behind with the world of easier less complex divorces. Consider a civil litigator rather than a family law attorney to handle complex property matters.

Ready for the next marriage? PRENUP!

If you want more information on how the 'new' face of divorce impacts you and tips on how to navigate the system, find out how at http://www.narcissisticabuse.com and http://www.divorceandlawyers.com