Divorce - Crisis or Blessing - Turning Divorce into Something Wonderful

Okay, I admit it. I am the happiest divorced woman alive! And rightfully so. But this state of joy and bliss did not come to me right away. Oh, no, I worked for it and earned it, every minute of it. How did I get to this place of seventh-heaven, you ask? Let’s rewind the tape to the weeks leading up to the final court date. My initial reaction to divorce was like a form of death. I felt like a failure; and more importantly, there was this huge sense of loss, and my self-worth was at stake, which made this experience even more painful. My struggle for answers and for a sense of hope took me on a journey within. In the end, I found all I needed and a whole lot more.

Below are five suggestions I have for women who are struggling with divorce recovery or who are heading in that direction. What I suggest to you is what took me from a place of despair to a place of awesomeness.

(1) Learning to love yourself is first on the list. You are not a terrible person. Let’s settle that one first. So if you were thinking anything bad about yourself, you needn't go any further. And I have good news for you. When you really love yourself, really truly love yourself, you will no longer miss anything that is not good for you or that is not in your best interest. Do whatever you can to feel good about who you are. If you have problems getting started, here are two suggestions: first, always look your best, because if you look good, you will feel good. Second, grab yourself a blank notebook, and the next time you have your delicious cup of tea or coffee, make a list of everything that you are good at and everything you like about yourself. And most importantly, realize and accept the FACT that you are a wonderful human being, regardless of your marital status. And that's not because I say so but because... IT IS SO!

(2) Trust the universe. Trust the future. Trust that what you are going through is okay, and make peace with it. Trust that in time, you will see the value of this day.

(3) I cannot begin to tell you how therapeutic journaling is. Divorce is a time of discovery. You have all kinds of thoughts going through her head, and you need someplace to put them. Write about your thoughts, feelings, realizations, and ideas and you will learn, discover, and grow.

(4) Keep the lines of communications open with your friends and family, the people who really care about you, and don’t be afraid to share your grief. People care about you more than you know.

(5) And finally, here is the last tip, which is my favorite. Make this divorce better than okay. Make it magnificent. Make it awesome. Make it surreal. And how do you go about doing that, you ask? I’m so glad you asked, because I am dying to tell you. Start off by making a list of all the benefits of being where you are now in terms of your divorce. Then continue with everything you learned from your marriage and how you are changed in some way for the better. List all the ways you are going to be even more awesome than you were before. And for those of you who want to take it one step further, make this divorce one of the best things that could have ever happened to you. But how? There are different ways to go about it; I will share one way. Think of three different things that you could do over the next one to two years that would make you so proud. If you did this one thing, you would look at yourself in the mirror and say: "You rock!"

And when people say to you, "What happened? You always talked about starting your own business/ or writing a book/ or losing weight/ or going back to school/ or moving to Florida. So what happened this time?" You can look them proudly in the eye and say with a smile:--"It was that damn divorce. It brought out the best in me."

And then, my friend, you will be in touch with your true awesomeness.

Wishing you more joy than you can stand,

By Jessie Jamie Coleman

Jessie Jamie Coleman is an author, screenwriter, freelance writer and a self-esteem expert. She is the author of two self-discovery journals, "The Incredible, Awesome You" and "Where Will You Be in Two Years." She is currently at work on her first novel, "Off the Bed and Down on the Floor due out in the summer of 2008. For more information, visit her websites: http://www.autumngirlpress.com and http://www.jessiejamiecoleman.com

Divorce Info - Divorce Information - Divorce Advice - Divorce Help

Divorce advice is a double edged sword; much of the divorce info can be conflicting. There are two directions you can take after your divorce. The high road or the low road, but the choice will be yours. The latter one leads to resentment, bitterness, and self destruction. You can build anger and resentment toward your former partner which will lead you to find ways of seeking revenge. If you chose this road to walk down after your divorce, you will find yourself arguing and fighting over every minute item. Your emotions will get out of control on this road and you will take much too long to heal while on it.

Words will be spoken that are meant to hurt each other. What will this accomplish? Will you find peace and satisfaction on this road? Many have walked down it after divorce. Some never return. Do you think it is worth ruining your life and, perhaps, others while seeking revenge? What about your children, if any are involved?

The higher road is more secure. There is dignity on the higher road. This road is much more promising because it offers such things as: peace, forgiveness, and, most of all, healing. But, make no mistake about it, this road is the most difficult after separation and divorce.

This road means taking responsibility for your own actions. It may require that you admit that you need others to come along side of you for support.

Everyone needs help from time to time in life. However, many couples on the verge of separation lack the courage to ask for divorce help. When dealing with divorce, you may want to browse the self-help books at your local book store to find divorce information. If you were belittle by your ex spouse you will have to be in continuous dialogue with yourself presenting positive statements to your inner person.

The higher road leads to forgiveness and peace of mind after divorce. In order for you to be set free you will have to release your ex. It is such a simple statement, but one of the most difficult decisions to make during and after a divorce, and then to apply.

However, forgiving the one who you believe hurt you is the ultimate means to growth and healing. As much as it hurts to forgive and release your spouse during a divorce, it is a necessity. You can use your experience during your divorce to heal and to grow.

The ink may not be dry on your divorce decree, but you don't have to wait until it is to take the higher road. You can get on it today. There definitely is life after divorce, and that's great divorce advice.

Divorce Advice, Two Roads To Travel On Your Divorce Separation:The high road , or the low roadThe higher road is more secure.

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