Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement

During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times.

But in most marriages, this is not always the case.

One out of every two marriages in America is failing and will explode in divorce.

It takes two people to make a marriage succeed.

Marriages fail because of the differences in the two people involved, because of conflicts and various problems in life.

Here are some marital insights to help you to cope with a divorce announcement.

No one is perfect, and happiness in life is a matter of learning from our mistakes.

There is no greater emotional pain that can be inflicted upon a woman than the announcement by her husband that he wants a divorce.

Even if both parties have "seen it coming" for some time, and the announcement really comes as no big surprise, the actual announcement is quite similar to a bomb exploding in your face.

It can be difficult to finally admit that the person you held hands with so many years ago, and promised to love - honor - and obey - to be supportive of, to stand beside in good times and bad - through sickness and health - for richer or poorer -who no longer wants you or your love, has turned out not to be an angel as you originally thought and believed but a monster.

When you first hear the announcement for a divorce from your spouse, it may sound unreal, and difficult to believe.

You may be thrown into a cyclone of self-denial.

It may take time to sink in your head.

And when it finally sinks inside, you may be overcome with a feeling of betrayal, then guilt, then hot anger and finally perhaps rage.

You’ve to understand that these feelings are normal and don’t let them destroy the rest of your life.

It is of the utmost importance that when you face this kind of heart rendering situation that you find the courage to understand that you can recover -that you will recover.

It will be hard, but you must immediately and absolutely turn the page on that chapter of your life.

You must quickly and absolutely sever all ties with that person - the one that has inflicted this pain upon you.

Get them out of your house. Get rid of all things that remind you of them. Change your phone number.

If necessary, move into a new home or apartment.

Re-locate to another city.

You must put an immediate end to your marriage.

Once a man/woman has announced to you that he/she no longer wants you for a wife/husband, you have to start thinking about your own survival.

It's going to be similar to losing a vital part of your body, but you must let go, and the sooner you do let go - completely end that chapter of your life - the sooner you'll be able to set about rebuilding your life and ultimately finding the happiness you want.

Between the time that your husband announces the end of the marriage, and the time when you'll find new happiness, you're going to hurt like you've never dreamed possible.

You're going to go through a number of mental and emotional phases - all of which are perfectly normal and necessary in order for you to "heal yourself" of this great hurt.

You'll never be able to enjoy love or attain true happiness until you have discharged the past from your system and healed yourself.

Think of all you're going through as a wound similar to a gash on your arm or leg.

It's going to hurt, and you're going to bleed, but with the proper care and time, you will recover.

You must understand that divorce is quite common - you're not alone nor going through anything that a lot of other people haven't experienced - and that in order to "get well," you must understand the nature of the wound, what to do in order to heal it, and as much about the pre-requisites to total recovery as possible.

At first, you'll probably deny that this is happening to you.

You may pretend that it's just a bad dream or some sort of bad joke he's pulling on you.

This type of thinking is normal, but it only prolongs the agony of your hurt.

You must face the reality of the situation - accept the fact that your marriage is over - and get on with the task of finding happiness for yourself, immediately.

You'll probably lay awake in bed at night and review "every minute" of your marriage - thinking that in this or that circumstance, you could've been a better wife, and from there beg for another chance.

You'll want to accept full responsibility - at least a big share of the guilt - for the problems that caused the break-up of your marriage.

These thoughts are only natural, but they cannot put your marriage back together, and any attempts to "try one more time," at this stage will only cause you greater pain.

You must accept the fact that your marriage is over, and busy your mind and yourself, with activities that don't allow you time to "rehash" the events of the past. Don't allow yourself to dwell upon guilt feelings.

Just because your marriage is over doesn’t mean that your life is over.

The earth is very big with billions of people and you must believe that there are many other human beings out there who will love to become your partner again.

Accept your own short-comings; vow that you will profit from what you've experienced; and then get on with your life.

You'll never be comfortable with yourself, nor find real happiness so long as you're dragging "guilt feelings" from your past around with you.

Somewhere along the way, you'll become so angry with your ex-husband - the world - and even God, that you'll be beyond yourself in your ability to express it all.

If you feel you need it, go for a therapy and counseling.

It will be necessary that you express this anger - to get it all out of your system -before you'll be able to "feel good" around men again.

Anger is the process of projecting onto another person, your own sense of hurt and frustration.

It's such a volatile and all-consuming emotion that unless you give it an outlet, it will literally eat you alive.

Understand your anger, and manage it in a manner that will benefit you - in such a way that your expression of it is constructive to your regaining your emotional health.

A few things you might think about doing: write the complete story of your marriage for your kids,; how you met, your dreams and hopes, the good and the bad, the sacrifices each of you made, and how - beyond either of your capabilities to control - the marriage just came to an end... write in precise detail exactly what is making you angry, and why.

Put it in letter form to your ex-husband and really tell him everything that has been, and is bothering you.

Let him know that you are a person with wants and needs too.

Stand in front of a mirror and "rehearse" an angry confrontation with your ex-husband and/or anyone else involved.

Make an appointment with your priest or minister; or find a friend who'll listen as you explain the frustration, hurt and futility you feel.

Regardless of how you do it, it is an absolute necessity that you let it all out. This anger and bitterness you feel is like a poison that you must cleanse from your soul.

The sooner you get rid of it, the sooner you'll be able to get on with your life –re-gain your mental health and position yourself for happiness.

Finally, there'll come a day when you'll no longer be bothered by thoughts of your ex-husband.

It won't even bother you when you see him with another woman, and that'll be the day when you've finally accepted the fact that your marriage to him is over.

You will have truly let go of him, and will be ready for a new try at happiness.

Your progress from being rejected by your husband (or wife) to acceptance of the fact that you don't want him (or here) if he/she doesn't want you, and positioning you for a second chance, won't come easily.

It may take you about two and a half to three years.

You must understand the damage you've sustained, the healing that's required, and the time it's going to take to get well.

May these insights into divorce and how to cope with it help you to re-discover yourself and sustain you for a better future.

Warmly,

I-key Benney

I-key, a Millionaire CEO from New York City is the creator of "Mscsrrr: Millionaire Secret Cash System", (online commodity trading) program which has helped thousands of ordinary people from all over the world to attain financial security and shining success during the past 2 yrs.

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Divorce Statistics And Effects Of Divorce On Children

There are many couples today that cannot make their marriage work and they jump to the conclusion that they must get a divorce. This is something that both parties may agree to or just one person in the relationship may have this idea on their mind. Either way, it is the ending of a marriage and something that needs to be thought about very carefully before doing going through with it.

A divorce will sometimes be called a decree of dissolution of a marriage. It is a legal process that has to go through the divorce courts. You cannot have just anyone terminate your marriage. It is final and it is a very serious matter that two people need to think about when their marriage is not making them happy. However there are things that a couple can do first before they decide to actually get divorced.

A divorce is the termination process of a valid marriage between two people. There are different reasons for divorce for different people. Many times a couple will try many other actions before they go ahead and file for a divorce. They may try counseling or talking to one another. They may also decide to take a vacation away from everyone else and try to work it all out. Sometimes it is just not possible to get through all the hard times and move past them with a happy marriage. It is sometimes the only choice between two people.

With a divorce the parties or court will resolve all the issues that are between them like the house, and other property that they jointly own, child custody and visitation as well as support in the form of alimony and from whom. There are many people that end their marriage peacefully and yet there are others that make it drag on for many years because they cannot agree on anything for the divorce. In fact current divorce statistics show that 1 in every 2 marriages end in divorce.

The process of the divorce is going to be hard on all the parties, but the effects of divorce on children needs to be carefully monitored. This is something that can really upset them and it is important to make sure that they get the care and the love that they need to understand that everything will be all right, and that they are not to be concerned with anything that the adults go through. This will help to comfort them and give them the secure feeling that all children need in this time of separation.

Divorce does not mean that the two people that were once married can no longer speak or have a normal friendship. In fact it is recommended that if there is children involved the divorced parents need to work together to make a divorce as easy as possible. This will keep everyone happy and make the divorce not seem so cold as many do.

Michael Spencer owns and operates http://www.divorceandlife.com Divorce Statistics

Divorce Recovery And Personal Principles - Maintain Clear Direction During The Chaos Of Divorce Reco

Divorce recovery often leaves us feeling lost, off-balance, disoriented, and vulnerable. Sometimes we feel as if we are careening off course and out of control. Our personal principles can give us confidence by reassuring us we are on course in our journey to a successful and satisfying life after divorce.

Divorce Recovery is Like Driving Down the Interstate in a Fog
An image that made sense to me when I was neck-deep in the divorce recovery process was driving down the interstate in a dense fog. A very real question for me was, "How can I make sure I stay in the road and not drive into the ditch?" Fortunately, superhighways have a way of reminding us when we are straying off course - those rat-a-tat-tat bumps on the side of the road that warn us we are getting too close to the shoulder. Our personal principles perform the same function - warning us when we are veering off course.

An Example of How Your Personal Principles Can Help Your Recovery from Divorce
A client of mine was having trouble negotiating the choppy waters of life after divorce. Some of his issues were: "How should I deal with my ex?" "What do I do about dating?" "How should I manage the proceeds of the sale of my Soho loft?" These, and other related issues, were driving him crazy. He had trouble focusing on one without another wedging its way into his head. Metaphorically, he was trying to go forward in a fog. When asked what his primary personal principles were in dealing with this time in his life, he responded, "The welfare of my two children." With that, the fog lifted. He realized that using his primary principle of "what's best for my kids" as a compass gave him clarity for traveling the blurry road of divorce recovery.

The Promise - You Can Make a Successful Recovery from Divorce Because You Have Stability of Direction
The good news is, we all carry a compass we can use when lost and vulnerable. It will guide us through the maze of divorce recovery with a true feeling of stability and control. That compass is our set of personal principles. Our principles give us a way to determine if our decisions and actions are right or wrong for us in this specific divorce recovery situation. All we have to do is ask, "Is this consistent with or is it against my principles?" The answer will set you free to travel the murky waters of life after divorce.

To learn more about the divorce recovery process and how you can speed up your return to a "normal" life, you are invited to visit http://www.SmoothDivorceRecovery.com To get a free assessment of your Divorce Recovery Stress Level you are invited to visit http://www.smoothdivorcerecovery.com/divstress.htm I help divorced clients return to the mainstream of life with renewed hope, unfettered by the chains of anger, resentment, and shame that accompany divorce.

My name is Jerald Young. I am a transition consultant and divorce recovery coach and I wish you the very best in making a smooth recovery from divorce.

Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?

Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal consultation. And lately there are sites offering online divorce services.

It is usually easier to marry than to divorce, especially if the spouses who wish to do so must divide their common property as well.

Divorce is extremely difficult business in rich families. For wealthy Americans in this case, it is accepted that the former husband or wife may pay rather large sums of money for the divorce process. It is not enough that the divorce in itself involves strong emotional stress, so they also pay an extra thousand on top of the $10-20,000 to lawyers to carry out this occupation, and sometimes it is even more.

Why should we lose the money and time applying for divorce, if there is the cheap and fast alternative - divorce online. You find the site, take your mouse, you press on the button - and you are a divorced person. With a minimum of formalities, as in Las Vegas, for the conclusion of a failed marriage appears the divorce.

To terminate a marriage on site, a couple wanting to apply for divorce need only a credit card and a computer with access to the Internet. The divorce case was finished within 30 minutes and cost $199.

People who hate discussing and relaying specific instances in dialogues with lawyers use the services of the site. In the virtual world of divorce, the couple that does not require court, after inputting all necessary data for divorce, merely prints the forms, signs them, and sends them to the judge. That is all.

The high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general divorce discussion.

The founder and head of a company like Legalhelper.org that supplies online documents for divorce disagrees with the opinion of opponents that cheap divorce can minimize the importance of divorce. It is true that the divorce will cost them only $199 but this will not push the majority of people to end less-considered marriages faster and more often. Similarly, the high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general discussion.

Note that Legalhelper.net provides an easy-to-use, quick, and economical online method for creating completed legal forms from its site for your uncontested divorce (either no-fault divorce or fault divorce).

James Wood - Software programmer for 15 years

Divorce Help: Vital Steps to Recovering From a Divorce

The very first thing you must realize is that you will not die because of divorce. It has happened to millions of people before you and it will happen to millions of people after you.

Although divorce cause severe emotional pain, you must believe that you will get over it. Of course, it takes time, but you will eventually recover and find love again. It is very important that you understand this.

It is crucial to understand that the marriage is over. It is vital that you immediately let go of the other person and begin setting your own life in order.

You must not think about pain or dwell upon what was yesterday. The more you think about the past the worse it will hurt, and the longer it will take for you to recover.

You must think about yourself. You cannot allow yourself to just sit and waste away. You need to take hold of yourself and go on living.

In order to counter bad feelings, you must keep yourself busy - clean your house, wash your car, write out a budget, study or go to work. Keep yourself moving and working on the kinds of things that make you happy.

It is extremely important that you express the feelings of anger you are carrying or they will eat you alive. The best way to deal with anger is to know exactly what you are angry about and then choose the most suitable way to express your anger to the person that has made you angry.

Another important thing in recovering from a divorce is to eliminate the feelings of guilt from your mind as quickly as they come into sight. Simply tell yourself that your marriage did not work out. You must forget about your ex as quickly as you possibly can!

Of course all of this is much easier said than done, but these things you must do, and you must do them right away.

To recover from the trauma of divorce, you must allow enough time for the healing process to be completed and be positive that tomorrow will be a happier day for you.

Alex Fir shares a wealth of information on his website http://www.divorce-information-center.info. If you want to learn more about divorce help visit Divorce Help Center today.

Hidden Dangers of Divorce for the Naive and What to Do to Make a Better Divorce

The system of family law is inherently flawed. It is adversarial where it need not be, and when it needs to be strong it often fails the client. Civil Codes and family laws are ignored. Lawyers perjure themselves for their clients, make character assassinations and other heinous acts as routine as filing a motion. Lawyers are abusive, expensive and when they become the problem instead of the solution, it's time to say so.

I first learned this in my own divorce - where better to learn than firsthand?

I was caught in a huge attempt at concealing fraud, with my husband and his attorney in collusion to conceal it, then Kafkaesquelike, planning to blame it on me. They announced this at a settlement conference when asked by the pro tem judge, "Why are you going to trial, there is evidence of the fraud?"

With breathtaking nonchalance, opposing counsel prepared to assist my husband in implicating me in fraud.

At the time I thought I was the only one anything like this happened to. Over the years I have come to learn how common it is.

It took a lot of discovery to unearth the fraud including subpoeanas of clients. I won, but the cost was high. If opposing counsel not been so malignant in encouraging the fraud upon the court, it is possible we might have settled. But how would he earn his $350.00 an hour if we settle? Greed and ego play a big part in the cash cow known as family law. After losing at trial, he wanted an appeal, which they lost. Still on the warpath, opposing counsel wanted to go to the Supreme Court. However by now, my ex had spent enough on his losing battle and stopped the war.

Recently in Dallas there was a judge so incompetent she thought she had the right to eliminate evidence proving sexual abuse. She was exposed and did not get re-elected, but the trauma to the people in her court is severe and they suffer still.

In California, I recently read a transcript where the judge knowingly begins a trial at the wrong time and without both sides present. He ignores this and proceeds without the mother. This was a custody trial. Can you imagine the lack of judicial ethics to begin a trial at the wrong time? Due process? Gone. Constitutional rights? Ignored. This is family court.

In another case, a Silicon Valley attorney announces she is a 'prima donna' as if that excuses her abusive treatment of clients, and worse, the outrageous billing for doing nothing. She told one client: "Don't do discovery. Go ahead and lose and we'll get the money later." Really? I hope one of her clients files a bar complaint or sues for malpractice. She should be flipping burgers not bon mots.

In My Divorce

Shocked, stunned and filled with rage at the lack of human compassion, at the malignancy that was this process, I felt trapped. But slowly, a change was washing over me. The more I learned about narcissism and evil, the more I gladly wore the badge they pinned on me labeled "target" . They were working very hard to "get me", so hard that they had to recreate a world in which I am expendable and they are to get their way. Oh, dear husband, you never focused on me during the marriage as you did then. With humor and grace, as Richard Cohen puts it, I look with amusement at how much time, energy and money he directed at me now.

I was distraught, depressed and angry. Alexander Hamilton said, "The first duty of society is justice." Where the hell was it?

Divorce lawyers taught me not only are women supposed to be inferior, they run their cases as if we actually are. Divorce is a paternalistic system, even with many female attorneys. It is built on control, concealment of information, and a swirl of paperwork that makes the process understood only by the anointed few.

Sometimes I think "law" is an acronym for lawyers against women. While all the men exit stage left, let me say I also believe the law can be an equal opportunity bastard and be unjust, unfair and biased against anyone or anything.

Why is Divorce Often Harder for Women?

Women are not trained to fight and divorce can be war. Women do not believe it will get dirty and nasty. They do not see their spouse as one who can and will do things which harm everyone including the children. But when money and ego are involved spouses can act without a conscience. You may be amazed at the transformation of your spouse, morphing from someone you knew as kind and compassionate to a stranger who fights with a passion.

With an aggressive, greed driven attorney behind him, he can become brainwashed and encouraged to whip himself into a frenzy.

Money translates into power in the legal system. It allows those who want to punish their spouses the ability to do so legally. As long as there is money, there is someone to represent them.

Inquiring minds want to know: is it possible to have a positive legal experience when dealing with a group of people who believe the truth is a manipulative?

Maybe. Find out more at http://www.divorceandlawyers.com or http://www.narcissisticabuse.com where Ann Bradley, M.A. shares her experience and information.

5 Divorce Minefields ...Role Of The Certified Divorce Financial Planner

Over 50% of married couples re-join the ranks of the un-married. Love, and relationship building, may be fickle stuff. But, it's pale soup compared to the dark complexities of asset carve-outs and divorce settlements when matters of money, tax and law intersect. Possibility for mistakes? Absolutely, unless couples hire an expert form the emerging class of certified divorce financial analysts. Getting married is like a stroll in the rose garden.

Getting a divorce is an open "minefield" of dangers to know about.

Divorce Minefield #1 - The Family Home. "You take the home...I'll take the bank accounts, the 401.K and the kids...50-50 split, OK?" Hold on. What looks like a ledger balance may contain some lurking tax issues which a divorce specialist financial advisor needs to identify. A divorce decree may be the "end of the road" position, but couples may wait for much of a year before a judge rules. Meanwhile, older appraisals of the family home may be completely out-of-line with either rises or declines in the local property market values.

* What The Certified Divorce Financial Planner Advises. Fluid values, like the housing and stock markets, mean that you and your financial investment management advisor need to consider (a). whether to sell the house while you're still married in order to fully shield you from capital gains taxes or...

(b). re-title the house in your name...but introduce restrictive covenants or terms and conditions within the divorce decree to shield a future home sale from capital gains tax liability.

Divorce Minefield #2 - Market Investments, 401.K Retirement Accounts. Getting into the numbers, and knowing what to look for, is the meat-and-gravy diet of certified divorce financial analysts.

* Stock Portfolios. A stock portfolio, in real time, is a composition in value. Dividing a stock portfolio, as a divorce investment management analyst will point out, requires stopping trading activity and then doing a trade-by-trade analysis for losses and/or capital gains tax liabilities in order to determine a true, fair and current portfolio value. And what about valuing hedge funds and their portfolios of private equity companies, mutual funds and the slippery-slope of stock-options? Any and all financial assets have to be wrung-out of their market activity focus and examined for net present value.

401.K Employer Funded Retirement Accounts. Determining future values of the tax-deferred 401.K plans...and then comparing those values with real property assets may lead to unsuspected imbalances. So, what do couples need to know? The handy certified divorce financial planner will advise that couples need a Qualified Domestic Relations order...ordered by a court of competent jurisdiction and approved by the named employer. And what does this QDRO court order do? This court order creates the rules for making transfers to an IRA account...or making early withdrawals under age 59 ½ without the customary 10% penalty tax, albeit with ordinary income tax imposed on the withdrawal. Advice? Get the QDRO court document ASAP and prior to the divorce in order to lock-in benefits. Your divorced financial advisor will point out that this detail, the QDRO, only applies to 401.K portfolio accounts...transfers between IRA account occur without penalty tax.

Divorce Minefield #3 - Who Gets The Kids...And The Tax Breaks? A simple question. But, huge drama and emotional complexity when parceling out kids and future lives, designated spousal visitation rights and so on. Yet, the rules for expense deductions are clear: only one (1) parent, the legal guardian, can take deductions for the kids as "dependents" on the annual tax returns.

Divorce Minefield #4 - Alimony Payments. The flip-flop nature of the tax code reveals itself, as the certified divorce financial analyst will point out. The party "paying" alimony can deduct the payments. However, the party "receiving" alimony payments must report the incoming payments as ordinary income, and pay tax. "Fair is fair" coming from an emotional roller coaster divorce action is not a defensible argument when it comes to facing the tax man.

* Hot Tip For Keeping The Alimony Payments Flowing. Your divorce financial advisor will recommend that the "alimony receiving" spouse take out a simple term life insurance policy on her ex...creating a back-up that future payments will be delivered, even if the paying spouse dies.

Divorce Minefield #5 - Wills And Trusts. Nothing fouls the divorce works better than out-dated wills and trust documents. Advice? Correct and refresh all family estate documents, by having your certified divorce financial analyst meet with local competent estate and divorce lawyers.

Bottom line: Discover "divorce made easier...and smarter" via the new breed of certified divorce financial planners. Please go to the following links for up-to-date information.

Divorce Attorney: http://www.wise4living.com/ldivatt/

State Divorce Law: http://www.wise4living.com/ldivstate/

Author Robin Derry is publisher for http://www.wise4living.com/ a specialty knowledge site that gives insights and solutions on certified financial divorce analysts, spendthrift trusts and family law legal needs, digital hearing aids, plasma and LCD TV stand design trends, wall mount and TV ceiling mount systems, cat fencing, underground dog fence solutions, wireless and radio dog fence technologies, dog runs and deer fence pet containment fences, outdoor deck planter box designs, deck lighting solutions, outdoor deck railing ideas, advice on building deck stairs, home and gardening projects such as decks and deer fencing, HDTV and home entertainment systems, specialty academic camps, auto tire and wheels technology trends, medical spas, technology trends, unique gift designs, technology gifts, tips for families committed to youth summer camps, body health, household, sport, travel, footwear, education, and much more.

Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!

It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you. There is a simple process to help the serious individual get over a divorce.

Very few people stay with the same individual for over twenty years. Therefore, a divorce is inevitable. Yet, hearing the words, "Uh well, I don’t know how to say this but I want to divorce" still hurts.

Immediately, there is emotional turmoil. A thought such as, "Divorce! Divorce! How could this happen?" is a common response.

One of the best ways to move forward with your life after a divorce is to stay focus on your personal and professional goals.

A slight shift in how a person views life can bring about monumental changes within a short amount of time. On average, it takes approximately two to three years to get over a divorce.

While it is usually not mentioned, there are some benefits in experiencing a divorce and recovering from a divorce.

Such as:

• Less stress - No one there to nag you all the time
• Less arguments - No one there to pick fights with you
• More time for self - Freedom to indulge in hobbies more often
• Able to focus better and for longer periods of time - Less distractions at home
• More control over our life - No one pressuring you to do things
• Able to see where you made your mistakes - Become more clear in your thinking

It is time to move on with your life after a divorce when:

• A myriad of emotions often distract you
• Thoughts of why the relationship did not work consumes every waking moment
• Your performance on the job begins to decrease substantially and people notice it
• It feels as though the world is collapsing around you

It does not take much to get over a divorce. What is required is consistent effort and dedication to improve one’s life. Now suck it up and start moving forward.

Shawn Nelson, MSA is a Motivational Speaker, Life Counselor and Author who creates guides, e-Courses and run several web sites that help people achieve their relationship, personal, life and professional goals. To learn more visit the Get Over A Divorce and Divorce Recovery web site.

Divorce - Crisis or Blessing - Turning Divorce into Something Wonderful

Okay, I admit it. I am the happiest divorced woman alive! And rightfully so. But this state of joy and bliss did not come to me right away. Oh, no, I worked for it and earned it, every minute of it. How did I get to this place of seventh-heaven, you ask? Let’s rewind the tape to the weeks leading up to the final court date. My initial reaction to divorce was like a form of death. I felt like a failure; and more importantly, there was this huge sense of loss, and my self-worth was at stake, which made this experience even more painful. My struggle for answers and for a sense of hope took me on a journey within. In the end, I found all I needed and a whole lot more.

Below are five suggestions I have for women who are struggling with divorce recovery or who are heading in that direction. What I suggest to you is what took me from a place of despair to a place of awesomeness.

(1) Learning to love yourself is first on the list. You are not a terrible person. Let’s settle that one first. So if you were thinking anything bad about yourself, you needn't go any further. And I have good news for you. When you really love yourself, really truly love yourself, you will no longer miss anything that is not good for you or that is not in your best interest. Do whatever you can to feel good about who you are. If you have problems getting started, here are two suggestions: first, always look your best, because if you look good, you will feel good. Second, grab yourself a blank notebook, and the next time you have your delicious cup of tea or coffee, make a list of everything that you are good at and everything you like about yourself. And most importantly, realize and accept the FACT that you are a wonderful human being, regardless of your marital status. And that's not because I say so but because... IT IS SO!

(2) Trust the universe. Trust the future. Trust that what you are going through is okay, and make peace with it. Trust that in time, you will see the value of this day.

(3) I cannot begin to tell you how therapeutic journaling is. Divorce is a time of discovery. You have all kinds of thoughts going through her head, and you need someplace to put them. Write about your thoughts, feelings, realizations, and ideas and you will learn, discover, and grow.

(4) Keep the lines of communications open with your friends and family, the people who really care about you, and don’t be afraid to share your grief. People care about you more than you know.

(5) And finally, here is the last tip, which is my favorite. Make this divorce better than okay. Make it magnificent. Make it awesome. Make it surreal. And how do you go about doing that, you ask? I’m so glad you asked, because I am dying to tell you. Start off by making a list of all the benefits of being where you are now in terms of your divorce. Then continue with everything you learned from your marriage and how you are changed in some way for the better. List all the ways you are going to be even more awesome than you were before. And for those of you who want to take it one step further, make this divorce one of the best things that could have ever happened to you. But how? There are different ways to go about it; I will share one way. Think of three different things that you could do over the next one to two years that would make you so proud. If you did this one thing, you would look at yourself in the mirror and say: "You rock!"

And when people say to you, "What happened? You always talked about starting your own business/ or writing a book/ or losing weight/ or going back to school/ or moving to Florida. So what happened this time?" You can look them proudly in the eye and say with a smile:--"It was that damn divorce. It brought out the best in me."

And then, my friend, you will be in touch with your true awesomeness.

Wishing you more joy than you can stand,

By Jessie Jamie Coleman

Jessie Jamie Coleman is an author, screenwriter, freelance writer and a self-esteem expert. She is the author of two self-discovery journals, "The Incredible, Awesome You" and "Where Will You Be in Two Years." She is currently at work on her first novel, "Off the Bed and Down on the Floor due out in the summer of 2008. For more information, visit her websites: http://www.autumngirlpress.com and http://www.jessiejamiecoleman.com

Celebrity Divorce Lawyer Will Handle The Divorce Case Efficiently

Every other case that is being filed in the court of law requires the handling of some or the other special lawyer for it. There are a variety of cases that are fought in the courts. Divorce cases, child custody case, recovering compensation case and many other civil or criminal cases are being fought. When it comes to the matter of fighting the divorce case, then the assistance of divorce lawyer is sought after. Whether it happens to be a celebrity divorce case or the general category one, divorce lawyer has to be professionally qualified for that. After all, divorce is a sensitive issue that requires careful listening and arguing certain points that will decide the matter.

If you are planning to become a celebrity divorce lawyer, then you have to take care of many things. First of all, you are required to acquire a specialized degree in this area of law practice and the degree has to be of a recognized institution. After completing your celebrity divorce lawyer specialization degree, you should immediately become a member of the state bar of that particular area. In doing so, you will get to have a validation certificate to carry out your law practice. It will also help you in having access to all the divorce law books that will be of great help to you.

In order to make yourself more efficient in your practice, it is always better to work on internship basis and that too under the guidance of senior lawyer. In doing so, you will learn about the ways and methods that can be applied in handling the celebrity divorce cases. Being a celebrity divorce lawyer is not an easy task. You have to mug up all the previous and new laws regarding this matter and apply them carefully wherever necessary. As a celebrity divorce lawyer, you will be representing your client in the court of law and have to take care that necessary laws are being applied to turn the cession in your client’s favor.

One of the important aspects that a celebrity divorce lawyer has to handle is the custody of the child. In this case, the judge will listen to both the parties and decide on the matter that who will carry on the upbringing of the child. In order to handle this issue, being a celebrity divorce lawyer, you have to be updated on all the laws that will be helpful in representing the case in the court. Another issue that may come across you as a celebrity divorce lawyer is the case of recovering compensation for proper upbringing of child. In this matter, you will have to guide your client in certain controversial issues that may crop up within the case hearings.

Today, the market is really competitive and you may find other fellow celebrity divorce lawyer that will be offering their services in affordable rates. You have to analyze the market results and keep your price reasonable, so that you can polish your law practice more and more. Another thing you can do is have an official site of yours, so that a variety of celebrities and other important people may come across your work efficiency.

Damyel Flower is an experienced divorce lawyer. He has successfully handled many divorce cases.He gives advice to clients who are looking for Art lawyer,Divorce lawyer NYC,Pre-nup lawyer.To hire services of a lawyer in New York and any legal advice visit www.mtllp.com

Celebrity Divorce Lawyer Will Handle The Divorce Case Efficiently

Every other case that is being filed in the court of law requires the handling of some or the other special lawyer for it. There are a variety of cases that are fought in the courts. Divorce cases, child custody case, recovering compensation case and many other civil or criminal cases are being fought. When it comes to the matter of fighting the divorce case, then the assistance of divorce lawyer is sought after. Whether it happens to be a celebrity divorce case or the general category one, divorce lawyer has to be professionally qualified for that. After all, divorce is a sensitive issue that requires careful listening and arguing certain points that will decide the matter.

If you are planning to become a celebrity divorce lawyer, then you have to take care of many things. First of all, you are required to acquire a specialized degree in this area of law practice and the degree has to be of a recognized institution. After completing your celebrity divorce lawyer specialization degree, you should immediately become a member of the state bar of that particular area. In doing so, you will get to have a validation certificate to carry out your law practice. It will also help you in having access to all the divorce law books that will be of great help to you.

In order to make yourself more efficient in your practice, it is always better to work on internship basis and that too under the guidance of senior lawyer. In doing so, you will learn about the ways and methods that can be applied in handling the celebrity divorce cases. Being a celebrity divorce lawyer is not an easy task. You have to mug up all the previous and new laws regarding this matter and apply them carefully wherever necessary. As a celebrity divorce lawyer, you will be representing your client in the court of law and have to take care that necessary laws are being applied to turn the cession in your client’s favor.

One of the important aspects that a celebrity divorce lawyer has to handle is the custody of the child. In this case, the judge will listen to both the parties and decide on the matter that who will carry on the upbringing of the child. In order to handle this issue, being a celebrity divorce lawyer, you have to be updated on all the laws that will be helpful in representing the case in the court. Another issue that may come across you as a celebrity divorce lawyer is the case of recovering compensation for proper upbringing of child. In this matter, you will have to guide your client in certain controversial issues that may crop up within the case hearings.

Today, the market is really competitive and you may find other fellow celebrity divorce lawyer that will be offering their services in affordable rates. You have to analyze the market results and keep your price reasonable, so that you can polish your law practice more and more. Another thing you can do is have an official site of yours, so that a variety of celebrities and other important people may come across your work efficiency.

Damyel Flower is an experienced divorce lawyer. He has successfully handled many divorce cases.He gives advice to clients who are looking for Art lawyer,Divorce lawyer NYC,Pre-nup lawyer.To hire services of a lawyer in New York and any legal advice visit www.mtllp.com